Two days ago, my friend Hanifa Ambadar contacted me. Also known as Hanzky, she is the founder of the most famous Indonesian fashion, beauty and style online media: Fashionesedaily.com. This site has now two sister sites: Mommies Daily and Fame n Frame. The first one is as the name told, all about being a mom. And the second site discusses on celebrity style.

Long story short, she asked me to contribute on a featured page of Mommies Daily which was released on Indonesian Mother’s Day, 22 December. I was supposed to write about what motherhood has taught me. Surprisingly, my writing was up on the page with those from other contributors, who are mostly famous women in Indonesian internet world. I am touched, Han, thank you .

This this what I wrote for that page:

I understand my mom better! Being the same working mother with a daughter, I am doing many things that my mom was doing. Like calling her from wherever I am, at least once daily to ask her the same questions: “How are you today? Have you enjoyed the school today? And what are you doing now? Have you had food?”. I understand about my mom’s concerns and worries, as much as her hopes for her daughter, since I share the same concerns and hopes now. And on top of that, I am even doing things I used to hate when my mom was doing back in my younger years. I used to get tensed when she was telling me to have proper food. But now I am doing it myself to my daughter. I used to think she was nosy when she was telling me things. But like it or not, I am telling Naila the same things she told me almost 30 years back.

After becoming a mother myself, I realised that being a mother is a continuous learning. Every stage of parenting has its own problems, tricks, but also its fun. One thing that I am still learning to do is to always think that Naila is a free and independent individual. I may not force her to be someone I want her to be. I just have to provide the foundation, and let her develop herself based on it. This is not always easy, since as a parent sometimes you want your child to be like you or even better than you. Or you want her doing things or become someone you always wanted yourself to but you could not.

On the other hand, it’s amazing to see how Naila always wants to be like me! I am like her role model, even though I don’t spend that much time with her. Since she was just able to talk a bit, like 1.5 years old or so, she used to say, “Neng mau seperti Bunda”. Well, Neng, I just want you to be “better” than me, in your own way

Selamat Hari Ibu, Happy Mother’s Day!

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